Sunday February 12, 2006
Relationships under review
MUMTAJ BEGUM puts some TV couples to the test, to see how well they fare on the love-o-meter.
ALTHOUGH it is not a hard and fast rule, there are two crucial elements to a successful TV show – interesting and somewhat eccentric main characters, and good chemistry among them. Add a little romance to the formula and voila, you might just have yourself a winner!
But getting the protagonists to click is a tad complicated. If there’s no spark between the man and the woman, then the series will be flushed down the toilet before you can even call Dr Vegas.
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Martin Fitzgerald (Eric Close) is one of two guys who’ve melted Samantha Spade’s (Poppy Montgomery) heart in Without a Trace. |
Usually the flirting starts off as irritation with each other’s high level of intelligence projected as a twisted sense of respect. This mutual contempt may come in the form of a constant exchange of snide remarks or as some fans would call it, verbal judo between the two leading stars.
This hostile phase then develops into secret or longing glances, most probably noticed by a supporting character.
Before you know it, they are both uncomfortable and tense with each other. And we all know how this story usually ends; sometimes in a tango, but most times on an unexpectedly bad note.
Spy vs spy
Take Moonlighting, for example. David Addison and Maddie Hayes were always at each other’s throat and it was always fun to watch them spar. With each episode, we knew the professional partnership would one day turn into something more and we willed it to happen. Yet when it finally did, Moonlighting just wasn’t as amusing anymore.
The real-life rift between the actors Bruce Willis and Cybill Shepherd probably threatened the programme which eventually brought its demise. But the truth is that the minute they got it on, things changed in the show.
Prior to Moonlighting we had Remington Steele which coincidentally was also about a pair of detectives who had the hots for each other. If you asked either one, they’d never admit it, of course.
Sure the series ended with them getting married but by then the feuding stars – Stephanie Zimbalist and Pierce Brosnan – were probably more glad than anyone else when the show finally bit the dust. Brosnan, as we all know, famously went on to get his licence to kill as the super-sleuth 007.
Secret operatives Nikita and Michael tried and tried to make things work in La Femme Nikita, but Big Brother just didn’t allow it. Manipulation, lies and backstabbing ensued at the underground headquarters called Section One. But if one could extract all the angst and quiet moments the two shared while walking around the tunnels of Section One, it would have been enough to make an explosive device.
While it was believed that the killing off of major characters had led to the show’s end, there were theories suggesting that when Nikita started seeing Michael, it simply spelled death for the series.
Next to the highly efficient Sydney Bristow in Alias, Michael Vaughn seems almost insipid. So even if you have wanted things to work out between the two agents – despite the gargantuan lies and secrets – the relationship doesn’t look promising.
The stars, Michael Vartan and Jennifer Garner, became an item sometime after the first season and throughout Season Two. In the third season their characters too progressed into a relationship, but that was when the actors decided to split up.
How-lah? Personally, I think Bristow should hook up with evil Sark. Hold the hate mail, please.
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Clark Kent (Tom Welling) gets into a really tight spot with (from left) Lois Lane, Lana Lang and Chloe Sullivan (played by Erica Durance, Kristin Kreuk and Allison Mack respectively) in an episode of Smallville. |
Lois Lane and Clark Kent are a couple – there’s no two ways about it.
When they were played by Teri Hatcher and Dean Cain in Lois & Clark (1993-97), they sure made a nice-looking couple. Then why was it that when Lois learnt the truth about Clark and decided to marry him, the TV series just fizzled out? Could it be due to some kryptonite lying about somewhere?
During his teen years Clark was obsessed with another person with the initials LL. No, not Lex Luthor although the way the two went on about their feelings for each other we shouldn’t be surprised if it was!
Smallville is currently in its fourth season over here and Lana Lang has overstayed her welcome since Season One. That perfect girl, who has Clark’s heart aflutter, was annoying the first time she made an appearance. Maybe it’s just me, but Clark should seriously reconsider going out with his best friend, Chloe Sullivan, and stop whining about Lana.
Interestingly enough, Smallville has added a spunky Lois Lane, who happens to be Chloe’s cousin, to the equation. Poor Chloe.
No laughing matter
While the drama genre has some great TV couples, it is comedy that thrives on romance. Think Who’s the Boss? Cheers, The Nanny, That ’70s Show, etc.
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Jennifer Garner briefly dated Michael Vartan when they were filming Alias. |
But not all sitcoms could sustain the love magic forever.
In the case of Frasier, it’s not known if it was an overdose of psychological mumbo-jumbo that drove the programme to the asylum or the fact that Niles Crane and Daphne Moon tied the knot. The running joke about Niles being in love with Daphne was a good one. That joke ended when they exchanged vows.
What’s up, doc?
Hospitals, it seems, are a breeding ground for TV “office” romances. Hands up, those who did not want George Clooney and Julianna Margulies’ characters in ER to be together? There were many other couples on the show, but Dr Doug Ross and Carol Hathaway nursed their love to perfection. Okay, I am biased ? so what?
The latest medical couple with a problem are intern Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) and her boss Dr McDreamy (Patrick Dempsey) in Grey’s Anatomy. Just when a healthy, beautiful relationship starts to blossom between them, they find Dr Hooker suddenly getting in the way.
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Evangeline Lilly with co-stars Matthew Fox (left) and Josh Holloway. In a recent Internet poll conducted by tvguide.com, fans voted for Kate Austen (Evangeline Lilly) to be with Dr Jack Shephard (Matthew Fox), over James ‘Sawyer’ Ford (Josh Holloway). But it was a close race with only a 4% difference between the two men. |
The concept of humour-meets-tragedy in the quirky medical comedy Scrubs has worked pretty well. Despite the hook-ups and break-ups on the show, Scrubs (into its fifth season in the United States) can still tickle our funny bone.
Everyone’s favourite diagnostic doctor, Dr House (Hugh Laurie) of House M.D., is anything but sweet. But with Laurie ably making House’s grumpy personality totally adorable, it is easy to see why beautiful, young Cameron (Jennifer Morrison) has fallen for Limpy.
But the thing is, goody-two-shoes Cameron makes House, erm, nice ? not a nice thought indeed.
Now does anyone else think there is a thing going on between Dr House and Dr Lisa Cuddy (Lisa Edelstein) or am I just reading too much into their bickering?
Analyse this
Office romances do extend to crime scenes, TV would have us believe. Fans love to speculate about the relationships between crime scene investigators, and there are loads – on CSI, CSI: Miami, CSI: New York, NCIS?.
Anyone watched Without a Trace recently? Samantha Spade (Poppy Montgomery) is one confused gal, thanks to working with two attractive men – Martin (Eric Close) and Jack (Anthony LaPaglia).
The final frontier
On the far side of the universe, the Star Trek series always had a love story floating in space every season. Nothing serious ever came out of it. Take Jean-Luc Picard’s friendship with Beverly Crusher: the TV screen just heated up a notch whenever Picard ended up at the sick bay in Star Trek: The Next Generation and then ? nothing.
In Star Trek: Voyager, Chakotay would have died for Captain Janeway but again, this never really took off.
Before things got too tragic we have to thank Tom Paris and B’Elanna Torres – also of Voyager – for proving that inter-species marriage is possible.
Fry tried to prove his love for Leela on every episode of Futurama but the tough one-eyed chick just wasn’t interested. The fact that she made out with Zapp Brannigan – who wore no pants for starters – hurt Fry more than words.
Forbidden love
In the final analysis, perhaps it is couples who can’t be or aren’t together that survive the love test.
Buffy and Angel of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer were meant for each other but there was no way the two could be together. One was a vampire slayer and the other, a vampire. Life sucks, doesn’t it?
Or take the title characters of Will & Grace, for instance. They are like two peas in a pod, but that kind of love would have to remain in the closet.
What about Jarod and Miss Parker of The Pretender? They were quite a pair. We never knew her first name and he had too many surnames. Best pals when they were kids, but circumstances and a crazy daddy ensured that they’d never share a name.
Now The X-Files pulled off a fantastic one. Never did I figure out if Mulder was the father of Scully’s baby. It took a feature film to get the duo to almost kiss. Frustrated fans never stopped looking for tell-tale signs about those two. After all, the truth was out there.
Not so lucky in love was Ally McBeal. Ally and Billy Thomas were going steady throughout their childhood and she naturally thought they’d end up together one day. It didn’t happen.
More tragic, not to mention extremely funny and gross at the same time, is Principal Skinner’s relationship with teacher Edna Krabappel in The Simpsons. Why does it never work out?
Skinner is mama’s boy and the old lady won’t allow her son to be anywhere near Krabappel. Sounds like the old love story of Camelia and Charles? Maybe the educators will one day have their own fairytale wedding. But don’t bet on a happily ever after with fierce Mama around!
Meanwhile, there’s already plenty of tension between the two Lost boys – Sawyer (Josh Holloway) and Jack (Matthew Fox) – that adding a girl to the equation can only mean trouble ? and I love it! The girl in question is gutsy Kate (Evangeline Lilly). While Sawyer has some things in common with Kate, Jack brings out the softer side of the tough gal. Wow, the drama of it all!
So, this Valentine’s Day let’s make a toast to all those cute and not-so-cute couples on tellyland that continue to give us a romantic merry-go-round in our living rooms every day.
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