Saturday April 18, 2009
Dial L for loser
Review by HARI AZIZAN
If this “self-help movie” represents the future of women in films, then we are set for a dull ride at the movies. This rom-com is just not that good.
You know what your mama warned you about men who boast they know what women want? Yup, to run away from them. Far. And fast.
Maybe she was really talking about Hollywood executives and their idea of movies for women.
The red flags should have shot up instantly when Hollywood gleefully buzzed about the chick-flick gold mine that they had unearthed — self-help books. The rationale is that comic-book adaptations have fan boys to boost ticket sales, so self-help books too must have their own die-hard fan base who will lap up the adaptations.
Come again?
I don’t count trips to the shrink as entertainment, but then again I’m no Hollywood executive. They’ve even coined a name for this so-called sub-genre of chick flicks — Self-Help Cinema! One of the movies to look out for this year is French Women Don’t Get Fat, which teaches women how to stay slim while scoffing pastry and cheese.
How’s that for empowerment?
Of course, the self-help cinema event of the year is He is Just Not Into You, an adaptation of the 1990s self-help phenomenon of the same name. Written by former Sex and the City writers Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, the book’s title refers to an episode in which one of Carrie’s boyfriends, Berger, bluntly sets Miranda straight about a guy she’s dating.
Miranda is confused by the mixed messages she’s receiving, but Berger tells her that men aren’t that complicated. If the guy has not pursued a relationship with her, it’s because he’s not interested.
From that titular rubric, the writers went on to create an instruction manual, with such nuggets of wisdom as, “He’s just not that into you... if he’s a selfish jerk”; “...if he only wants to see you when he’s drunk”, and “...if he’s having sex with someone else.”
The book became a bestseller. The movie was pre-destined.
In that episode of Sex and the City, Miranda is liberated by this nugget of wisdom and moves on. In the show’s typical quirky twist of fate, she later finds out that said object of her affection really did not call back because he had a bad case of the runs...
This movie, however, is humourless in espousing its hackneyed wisdom. Worse, it provides a warped representation of the modern woman while pretending to deal with the complexity of relationships.
The movie tries to acknowledge that real happiness comes from within and that the conventional ideas of relationship no longer apply. But as if pressured by the wedding industry, it reneges on its liberal conceit at the last minute and packs the ending into traditional boxes.
The women here are cardboard cutouts with suitably clichéd stories. Worse, they are generally desperate, dull and dim, caring only for men, men and men.
Leading this Stepford Wives parade is Gigi (Ginnifer Goodwin), whose desperation for love is the main source of laughter. Then there is bubbly Beth (Jennifer Aniston), who becomes insecure when her married sisters question the sincerity of her seven-year, live-in boyfriend Neil (Ben Affleck).
There’s dour Janine (Jennifer Connelly), who endures an unhappy marriage with college sweetheart Ben (Bradley Cooper) because it’s expected of her. Sexy Anna (Scarlett Johansson) is the resident tart trying to seduce Ben while stringing along Conor (Kevin Connolly), whom Gigi likes and is stalking.
Then there is geeky Mary (Drew Barrymore), who is there as a plot line for the new concept of Internet social networking.
If you think this is tiring, imagine having to follow their trials and tribulations in love.
Oh, how I miss the screwball heroines of 1930s’ and 1940s’ romantic comedies. Sure, their priority was to marry their man, but boy, did they do it with style. There was none of this neurotic whinging and self-doubting.
Take socialite Susan Vance (as played by Katharine Hepburn) in Bringing up Baby. After setting her designs on palaeontologist Dr David Huxlex (Cary Grant), she unleashes her pet leopard Baby in a far-fetched courtship scheme. Then there is successful designer Marilla Brown (Lauren Bacall) in Designing Woman, who puts off marriage until she finds the right man. And after tying the knot, she fights to be her own woman.
What about Schatze Page, Loco Dempsey and Pola Debevoise (Bacall, Betty Grable and Marilyn Monroe respectively) in How to Marry a Millionaire, who dream of snaring millionaire husbands? Instead of going to the bookshop (or the movies), they come up with a plan, complete with a penthouse and luxurious lifestyle.
Despite their ambiguous sexual politics, these classic movies showed respect for their female leads.
Today’s women can learn more from these heroines, who are witty, ambitious and more of a match for their male counterparts than the characterless female in many current movies. Most of all, they take us on a fun ride in their battle of the sexes.
It’s no wonder that Judd Apatow and his merry men of comedy are ruling the box-office with male-oriented romantic comedies like Knocked Up, Superbad and Pineapple Express. They at least know how to have fun, if at women’s expense.
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